Then to rub it in, slept with half of my friends & I became the fool that was rapped around his finger. Fort it was my fault & I wasn't good enough.
Aged 17 I finally let go & then I met someone amazing, made me happy and actually sat me down & told me he won't break my heart.
We got together 7th may, perfect relationship, both was faithful & inlove. I fell pregnant in janurary & on 31st of may, we found out we was having a beautiful baby boy due on 17oct. Everything was perfect! 4days later my life fell apart, I lost the most perfect person in my life, he was my best friend, the person to wipe my tears away, the only person that could make me angry and some how get away with it. he made me realize how to live life and he also shown me 'what real love was' his kisses was so perfect and when his arms were around me, I felt so safe.
On his last day, it was the most hardest day of my life. I sat next to him while he was lay asleep on the hospital bed & I held his hand on my belly, just thinking about our future together. It was finally time to go & by then I new it was the last time I'd ever see him. I kissed him, gave him a hug and walked to the door. I turned around and we both just looked in each others eyes knowing what's going to happen but we both decided not to show it.
I told him me and baby need to rest and get some sleep. He said he loved us both. I blew him a kiss and he winked at me and said see u later, I smiled and lefted, rote to my mum and told her, 'I know this is it now', she fort he'd be fine.
Then 1:40 his mum phoned and said he's gone, she said she lay next to him and closed her eyes and walked with him to heaven, she was speaking to him, telling him not to worry, his family are waiting and will look after him up there, she told him it was beautiful. He took his last breath and went.
He had no fear atall. He went so peacefully. He was such a fighter, always put other people first and I'm so proud of him. Time passed by and a thousands hearts became broken but he left this beautiful baby that everyone couldn't wait to meet. I had baby on the 26th october' named him Logan-lewis. As they was the last names I asked to called baby.
I've not stopped thinking about lewis since baby arrived. Now I'm back in hospital in pain. Came to the point were nothing ever goes right for me & no matter how good or bad the relationships are, I still end up loosing & after every relationship I'm scared to go into another.
I don't understand life itself but I know anything could happen. So you just have to live everyday' as you don't know when its going to be your last. No matter how much I want to cry, I just have to smile because I'm now a mum and I've got this little baby boy that was made with love.
Lewis gave me a life, will always be in my life and still is my life. Just that my baby dad isn't here, doesn't mean he hasn't got one, he will always know everything about him and I will always tell him stories about him. He was my hero, 2012 has been the hardest time of my life but also the best, I lost an angel on the 4/6/2012 and received an angel 26/10/2012 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Miss You forever 'Lewis John Reginald Barry. Love you all the way to heaven and back again ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
